In my history of making resolutions, first of all, New Year resolutions are jinxed. First of all, January is not the time to make serious decisions. Make resolutions on your birthday. In any case that’s when your year begins. Unless of course your birthday is in January. I make my resolutions in September. That is when my year starts. Because that's when I was born.
The only valid resolution in the above list is the 13% who want to invest.I think that is thinking right. Why would one want to save more money instead of investing, for example?
I think that when people can’t change, or can’t sustain the change, it’s because they are using an improper approach. They kind of set themselves up from the start to not succeed. I love this Mark Twain quote: “I don’t know why people say it’s so hard to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times myself!” This idea that, actually you can change, but it’s sustaining the change that matters.
So in order for your resolutions to stick: whatever time of year you make them, they should have these qualities:
Be Realistic: Let's face it, you are not going to lose 10kg. At least not unless you get yourself cast on The Biggest Loser or amputate a limb. You are also not going to go to the gym everyday. You might go to the gym—as in attend the gym one time on January 2—but you will not go to the gym every single day for 365 days. You need to pick something that you will actually be able to accomplish. Set your sights lower rather than higher. Say that you're going to lose 5kg. You can do that by switching from soda to water and peeing a lot. With all the good mojo you've ginned up losing those 5 kg, you might motivate yourself to lose another 5. Keep it real and you won't be disappointed.
Think Incrementally: Since we're being realistic, you are not going to just up and quit anything—smoking, drinking, biting your nails, chewing gum—overnight. It takes a long time to break a habit. Instead of setting one unreachable goal, try to break it up into a few easy steps. Say, "I'll get down to one pack a day by February 1," "For two weeks I'm only going to bite the nails on my left hand," or "By March, I'll only chew gum on weekends." Once you've achieved that goal, go on to the next one and work your way down until you've quit altogether. It might take a bit longer, but you have a better chance to succeed.
Incentivize: Most people fail at their resolutions and punish themselves. Skipping out on a vacation because you didn't lose your 10kg is stupid and only going to make you more depressed, which will make you eat more and lead you in the totally wrong direction. Instead, set yourself up to receive a reward for good behavior. "If I'm not mean to one child on the bus this week, I can buy a new pair of shoes!" Just don't make your reward something contrary to your goal. "If I lose 5 kg., I can eat plenty of ice-cream" is not only a very bad idea. And if you're that stupid then you deserve to fail.
Misery Loves Company: If you're going to have to suffer, get a friend or loved one to suffer with you. If you're trying to go work out more, get a gym buddy. If you're trying to stop using the word "fail" as a noun, force your coworker to do the same. That way you'll have someone to call you out if you backslide, encourage you to move forward, and motivate you when you want to call your new boss' hair a "combover fail." Also, you can bitch about how much life sucks to each other. That's not productive, but it sure feels good. If you can't get someone involved in your plan, at least talk to your friends and family about your resolution. You're probably used to disappointing yourself, but the thought of upsetting your mother if you don't finally get your grades up is enough to keep you hitting the books.
Pick Something Within Your Control: You can only control your behavior, so don't try to choose a resolution that involves the decisions of others. Therefore, "I'm going to find a new job this year," or "I'm going to get married by 2015," are all really bad ideas. You don't make the hiring decisions, you can't force someone to propose to you, so you're setting yourself up for failure. However, you can still work towards these in other ways. Why not plan to apply for one job a day (or one job a week). You may not get one, but at least you did the work to try to get there. If you want to meet a partner, resolve to join an internet dating site, try to go out more, or stop asking prospective beaus for drug tests before you go out with them. Sure, you may end up with a junkie, but at least you won't be alone! (I kid, I kid!)
Be Resilient: If your resolution is to go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday and you skip a Thursday, don't fall into a shame spiral and sit on the couch with a tub of icecream and a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills marathon and give up your resolution altogether. Allow yourself a few missteps. No one is perfect—well except Oprah, and you can't be her. If you fall off the wagon, don't wallow in the dirt. Just get back up and keep on going. One mistake isn't worth ditching the whole endeavor. Unless the mistake leads to your imprisonment. Then you're screwed.
Have a fantastic year ahead folks!
